A friend introduced me to Wikitravel. It's Wiki's traveling arm of their Wikiempire. The first thing I did was search for "Moon" and was amazed to see the page actually exists. There are joke articles on Heaven and Hell, but the Moon article was legit. Until I got my hands on it. It's a bit rough, and it's not as if I went through a thorough editing process, so don't hold me to the fire if you're not on the floor (though I assure you, I was through much of it). Anyway, below is the copy/pasted article, before some tool edits out the good times. Obviously, there is still a lot of authentic content. Maybe you'll learn something!!!
The Moon (Luna) is the Earth's solitary satellite, roughly 385,000 kilometers away.
Get in
The Moon has had no visitors since the end of the Apollo program in 1972. America's NASA, the European Space Agency and the Chinese space program all have apparently serious plans to return, but none are in a hurry: NASA's target date for the next man on the moon is 2018, while both the ESA and the Chinese are aiming at 2024.
If you're content with just taking a closer look, Space Adventures and the Russian Space Agency have floated the idea of a flight around the moon for a cool US$100 million or so; see Space for details.
Get around
Conventional aircraft are useless on the Moon since there is no atmosphere to generate the aerodynamic lift they require to fly. The primary method of transportation has been lunar rovers, three of which are still stranded at Mons Hadley, the Descartes Highland and the Taurus-Littrow valley.
Gravity on the Moon's surface is only one-sixth of the Earth, which compensates in part for having to wear a bulky pressurized spacesuit. However, it will still make your ass look fat.
See
- Luna 2, Exact location unknown (Near Aristides, Archimedes, and Autolycus craters). The first man made object to reach the Moon
- Tranquility Base, Mare Tranquillitatis (Near Sabine and Ritter craters). The site of the first human landing on the Moon.
- Earth. Visible from only one side of the Moon
- Me. I'm over here!!!
Do
- Rock collecting is a popular export activity, but only for lab coats and losers wielding metal detectors. Don't we have enough rocks on Earth already?
- Play golf. There are no established golf courses available, but the moon does provide you with an excellent opportunity to practice your sand trap shots. One recent visitor drove a 3-iron off a practice tee 2,867,903 meters to establish a new Guinness World Record. Try and beat it!
Buy
Anyone with an eBay rating of 25 or above can easily air freight moon rocks back to Earth and dump them on unsuspecting Wikitravel readers looking for the "next big thing." DHL offers overnight delivery. No, really.
Eat
There are no restaurants or shops available on the Moon. Take all the food you need with you. However, McDonalds is in a bidding war with KFC for the rights to the Sea of Tranquility to open the Moon's first chain restaurant.
Drink
There is next to nothing to drink on the moon, bring your own bottled water from home.
It should be mentioned that in regions of lower pressure, it takes less alcohol to inhibit your ability to operate spacecrafts.
Sleep
The next phase of lunar exploration will probably involve the construction of permanent manned bases in the Moon's polar regions.
Camping is encouraged on the moon. However, there are no established campgrounds, so you will need to provide your own tent and fishing rod.
Stay safe
Due to the fact that there are no humans on the moon, there is also no crime problem.
The universe however is out to get you and this will become all to apparent once you leave the comforts of Earth. In addition to the obvious problems of freezing cold temperatures and the lack of a breathable atmosphere, in order to stay alive you will have to take precautions:
- Solar storms (there is no magnetic field to deflect these high energy particles)
- Meteor impacts (there is no atmosphere to burn them before they impact the surface)
Stay healthy
As there are no hospitals or emergency medical facilities on the Moon, you will need to provide your own snakebite kit. Be advised, there is also unlikely to be anyone to urinate on you, should you be stung by the indigenous species of jellyfish on the moon. Buzz was just as surprised as you will be.
Bring extra H2O.
Get out
- Earth
- While the gettin's good
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