Yikes!!! From South Africa

Updates!!!!

I'm in Cape Town after traversing the Wild Coast and Garden Route in the Jazz. Highlights are many and require about a story per town, and I'm starting to realize that I'll be catching up on stories for a long time. My sincerest apologies for that, but I assure you what the catching up will most definitely occur.

Random thoughts and updates of note:

- I suck at surfing, but I'm amazing at swallowing ocean.
- Climbing Table Mountain in Cape Town = overrated.
- Bungee jumping off the Bloukrans Bridge (biggest bridge in Africa and longest bungee in the world including a 180m freefall, reaching speeds of up to 190 km/hr ) is the SICKEST thing ever.
- What IS scary is that I wasn't scared at all.
- Cliff jumping, on the other hand, is fucking terrifying. I have logged two separate 9m jumps and a 5m. One of the 9m jumps involved waiting for a wave to come in, dodging an outcrop on the way down, and avoiding a rock upon landing. That... was scary.
- Hiked (barefoot over rocks and boulders) and swam up the coldest river I can imagine to view a gorge around Knysna.
- Then got robbed a fourth time when a thief broke into our car and stole a used pair of sneakers, change from the cupholder, and our cds. It was easily the most useless heist ever.
- A LOOOOOONG story short: Ed and I rolled out to some boys camp (think Afrikaans Jonestown) because some idiot split his head open and needed medical attention. Cops would do nothing, nearest hospital is 2+ hours away, and they are the closest I've ever come to a cult. Details forthcoming in a proper entry...
- Ostrich is DELICIOUS.
- So is warthog, even though they are awesome little badasses when they're alive.
- Crocodile tastes like a cross between chicken and balsa wood. Pass on it if given the chance.
- After seeing 1.1 million penguins in Argentina 5 years ago, I was no less excited to see about 40 on Cape Point.
- Everyone (and I do mean everyone) in South Africa smokes weed. Oddly, the visitors here don't smoke quite as much.
- South Africa is hardly Africa.

That's all for now. I have a video and pictures from the bungee that you really just have to see to believe. Unfortunately I already mailed all that home before I put it on my computer. Bad move. You'll have to wait for those.

This entry is long on detail and short on laughs. Next time, expect the opposite. In the meantime, I'm staring at least a week or two in Cape Town in the face before heading up towards Victoria Falls through Namibia and Bostwana. Africa is incredible.

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For the Love of God

First of all, to those who thought I may have somehow jumped up to Syria betwixt Tanzania and Mozambique, let me first assure you that you might be retarded. Secondly, I am much more retarded, if only because I have about nine countries to catch everyone up on with stories, so I completely understand any and all confusion. Unfortunately, finding the internet in places like Kruger National Park is more difficult than spotting a leopard, and let me just say that I'm 90% sure that those things are imaginary.

On the other hand, I am much better at conjuring up excuses for updating this blog so irregularly. The quick and dirty update is I'm in Durban, South Africa. Recent events include a raucous week in Maputo, one in which a story is sure to find its way onto this blog; spent 5 days on safari in Kruger trying (and mostly failing) to spot anything that doesn't eat grass (lets just say I didn't see anything this interesting); nearly died on a treacherous dirt mountain pass on the way to Swaziland in a hailstorm, driving a Honda "motherfuckin" Jazz (pictured); whitewater rafted down the Usutu River in Swaziland while braving category 3 and 4 rapids; and already logged one strong night in Durban since arriving here. Ed's friend Dave took off this afternoon and now it's just Ed and me on the way to Capetown. Should be something of note to include in the meantime, not the least of which will likely involve Ed beating me over the brain with a Nubian statuette.

As for all else, I'm scheduled for a dive with tiger and zambezi sharks on Thursday, going surfing tomorrow, and generally just still bragging to all that will listen about the good times I'm having. I'm sure I'm a real pain in the ass to be around, but no more than normal. I'm still on schedule for an early June homecoming, and lets just say that if you hear of a job opening up in the meantime, please forward. Bitches be broke deez dayz.

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I'll be including my traveladvisor map from now on, to show a graphical progression of my last few months of the journey before heading home. It includes all places I've been, but if you concentrate on eastern Europe, the Middle East, and Africa, then you'll see how far I've come. Anyway, it's fun for me, and that's all that matters.