For the Love of God

First of all, to those who thought I may have somehow jumped up to Syria betwixt Tanzania and Mozambique, let me first assure you that you might be retarded. Secondly, I am much more retarded, if only because I have about nine countries to catch everyone up on with stories, so I completely understand any and all confusion. Unfortunately, finding the internet in places like Kruger National Park is more difficult than spotting a leopard, and let me just say that I'm 90% sure that those things are imaginary.

On the other hand, I am much better at conjuring up excuses for updating this blog so irregularly. The quick and dirty update is I'm in Durban, South Africa. Recent events include a raucous week in Maputo, one in which a story is sure to find its way onto this blog; spent 5 days on safari in Kruger trying (and mostly failing) to spot anything that doesn't eat grass (lets just say I didn't see anything this interesting); nearly died on a treacherous dirt mountain pass on the way to Swaziland in a hailstorm, driving a Honda "motherfuckin" Jazz (pictured); whitewater rafted down the Usutu River in Swaziland while braving category 3 and 4 rapids; and already logged one strong night in Durban since arriving here. Ed's friend Dave took off this afternoon and now it's just Ed and me on the way to Capetown. Should be something of note to include in the meantime, not the least of which will likely involve Ed beating me over the brain with a Nubian statuette.

As for all else, I'm scheduled for a dive with tiger and zambezi sharks on Thursday, going surfing tomorrow, and generally just still bragging to all that will listen about the good times I'm having. I'm sure I'm a real pain in the ass to be around, but no more than normal. I'm still on schedule for an early June homecoming, and lets just say that if you hear of a job opening up in the meantime, please forward. Bitches be broke deez dayz.

• Create your own travel map or travel blog


• Visit TripAdvisor.com

I'll be including my traveladvisor map from now on, to show a graphical progression of my last few months of the journey before heading home. It includes all places I've been, but if you concentrate on eastern Europe, the Middle East, and Africa, then you'll see how far I've come. Anyway, it's fun for me, and that's all that matters.