Some Shock Value, and Something for Your Lunch Break (updated!)

I understand completely that most people haven't bookmarked my blog, kept the original email, committed the URL to memory, or make use of the handy drop-down menu in their web browser. It's something I might do, in fact. Especially as I'm probably even more selfish, self-involved, and egocentric than most of you. So, no worries.

What is interesting however, is the methods people use to find this link when all the above methods fail them. Some people may ask someone to forward them the link, and others may email me and ask me directly. Sounds reasonable.

Still others use Google search to find the link. This is also a rather effective method. It's also totally uninteresting, isn't it?

Well, I have a point to mentioning this. What's interesting about searching for my blog via search engines, is I can access a report that gives me the search terms used to direct someone here. This I find immensely entertaining.

Below I'll list the top (subjectively) search criteria used to find the link here, removing all combinations of my name and all derivatives of the words "traveling" and "light", along with my comments. Proceeeeeed....

1. (by a wide margin, quantitatively) - "Jeff Jones, Croatia" - This speaks to the legacy that is anywhere the ambitious, often anxious, and always ambidextrous Jeff Jones goes and spreads his gospel. I take only a small amount of credit for his worldliness.
2. "sex tourism + krakow" - This elicits a bit of concern, and many questions. For one thing, it's clear that anyone who read my Krakow entry would know that there was nothing in it concerning sex tourism whatsoever. Which begs the question, who is specifically seeking out sex tourism in Krakow? Sure, it exists there, but it takes a considerable amount of creepiness to google it.
3. "banya + Lviv" - Boring. Next.
4. "slovenia" - This is puzzling. That someone would somehow page past the first 90,000,000 or so results (there is a total of 151,000,000) to reach my little ol' blog with my 300-600 visitors per month, is perplexing. First of all, inasmuch as it may take around three months to count to one million, which I find to be a rather conservative estimate, to click past 15,100,000 pages of search results (there being ten per page), is quite striking. What must a person with this much time do for a living? For one thing, (s)he's obviously married. Why else would someone consciously engage in such a mind-numbingly painful act of isolation if not for the desire to avoid a nagging wife or needy husband? For another, it must be a woman, because men just simply cannot concentrate on any one thing for longer than a commercial break between the hook and the exciting conclusion to Real World Las Vegas. It's also clear that it's a woman in that a man would have clicked past eight or so pages and then said "fuck it, I'm signing up for Milfhunter."
5. "vienna" - Equally perplexing, with perhaps the same explanation as above. Only this is unique in that Slovenia is awesome and my experience there was equally so. Vienna is nice, not awesome, and my experience was rather lackluster, which always makes for a better blog. In that sense, I believe the people searching for Vienna were actually looking for me. How many people have considered just reading about Vienna, versus wanting to read about extracting oneself from a painfully overbearing, self-indulgent conversationalist? Exactly. That would be like reading about dandelions instead of the Kim Kardashian home "movie". Which would you choose?
6. "chest whipping"- Is this a euphemism for something? Am I missing a gay joke? Someone please email me what this means, preferably with (cockless) pictures and/or diagrams, and a detailed explanation of it's derivation. I may not be gay, but no one can say I'm not trying to better understand them.
7. "'steam room' lesbian or boobs or aroused" - It's undeniable that this person knows me, and knows my blog. What's curious about this is the blending of male and female sexual allusions. This can only be the work of someone who has recently made the switch between preferences (as their mind is as confused as their loins must be). Craig? That you?
8. "bus fart kiev" - I'm not making this up. Three people directed themselves to Travelling Light by way of these search terms. I don't have any idea how to respond to this, other than to say that I never took a bus in Kiev, but I'd be lying if at this moment I wasn't regretting it. It seems like if you're going to drop bombs in Kiev, the bus is the place to do it. Not the bus stop, as was my modus operandi.
9. "cesky krumlov nightlife" - A paradox if ever I heard one.
10. "communist titties" - A delicious after-dinner snack. And I hope one day I see this phrase on a t-shirt, so I can say "I began that movement."
11. "dubrovnik sex massage parlor" - I was unaware that my blog contained all those words, but in examining it a bit closer, I'm sure it was probably contained in more than one entry. Even so, from what I know of Dubrovnik, this searcher is probably going to be left sans tug after his rub.
12. "guys sauna cock" - I'm for the first time, genuinely ashamed of myself.
13. "herza czech rigged" - Indeed they are. I'm glad I'm seen as a foremost authority on the matter.
14. "hungarian for kebab" - Delicious. Pronounced: yuhm-ee in mahy tuhm-ee
15. "ian pooley 2007 gallery" - [shrug]
16. "jeff let's eat" - The legend that is the revered, the reveled, and the never remonstrative Jeff Jones is truly a phenomenon.
17. "keanu" - My only guess is that this was after a fruitless string of gay sex searches, and Google has some level of intelligent forecasting device.
18. "kiev gay banya" - I'm finally starting to get a sense of my audience.
19. "nude male banyas russia" - As if "nude" were really necessary. And trust me, it's not. "Banya" and "nude" are pretty much synonymous.
20. "sarging budapest" - Nice.
21. "sex tourism minsk whore" - My audience is nothing if not diverse.
22. "silhouette porn" - Wow. I'm not one to judge, but... fuck it, I'm downloading some now. I'll report back.
23. "traveling with narcolepsy" - Recommended.

In other news, I'm currently in Sharm el-Sheikh, Egypt, as I've mentioned before. Tomorrow I fly to Luxor and from there I'll make my way up the Nile to Cairo/Alexandria before flying somewhere in southern Africa.

Sharm is the first place I've enjoyed a semi-consistent wifi connection since leaving New York last. As such, the bulk of my spare time in the past four days has been spent uploading an obscene amount of pictures from the past two months.

Some of you may have taken a spin through the first 10-15 pictures I was able to upload from Istanbul, but I've since added much more. Sadly, I haven't got the time to add the searing witty descriptions you're all used to, but I'll try to toss a few in there to add a little flavor. And pay no attention to the pictures names themselves, that has nothing to do with where I was at the time.

Lastly, I apologize in advance for the huge quantity of pictures. Inasmuch as I haven't had time to write descriptions, I similarly haven't had time to weed out the ones not worth keeping. So, you have plenty of pictures to whip through while you dig into your overpriced Pax World salad and stale bread. Have a great Monday, LOSERS!!!